It’s no secret that January is known as the infamous “break-up” season in the UK. The stress and expense of the party combined with shorter, dark days and icy cold weather can drive couples to the point of no return.
It says something that Google searches for “how to start divorce” is 52.38 percent higher in January than at any other time of the year.
»People have many time to think about Christmas – and with hours spent indoors on the couch, they start looking for the negative in the other person and think ‘I’m done’, ”says Mairead Molloy, psychologist and relationship strategist. I. “The biggest breaks break up before Christmas and rub off before they actually happen in January. It’s a safer time of year to break up, because it feels like a New Year’s resolution and a fresh start.”
Still, Molloy says that with the right “maintenance of the relationship” you can fly through January as a couple and look forward to a happy 2022. Here she shares 10 tips on how to do just that …
Do not forget the date night
At this time of year, our energy is low and nights on the couch in sweatpants are appealing. We go into hibernation mode and it is easy to romance to go to the window. But it is important to recognize when a cozy routine becomes a rut. Why not change things up with a date night in? Get dressed for the occasion, make a meal you’ve never made before, and light some candles. Turn off the television for the evening and listen to music, drink wine and talk to each other.
Work out together
Many people suffer from seasonal affective disorder, which affects our emotions and self-esteem. Put on your exercise equipment and go out and take a walk fast time or a jog together on a crisp, sunny morning. I recommend making it a little competitive. Find ways to challenge each other. This fun element combined with a whiff of feel-good hormones such as serotonin and dopamine can be highly sexy.
Make a joint New Year’s sequel
New Year’s resolutions are the perfect way to introduce positive habits into your relationship while looking ahead. Offer support to each other in these experiences. You can learn how to make new healthy recipes for each other instead of choosing a Chinese takeaway, or turn off your phones and go to bed earlier. By setting goals with your partner, you will stay motivated, excited and attract many more positive emotions.
Make sex a priority
It’s cold and dark outside and the motivation is at its lowest ever in January. We go back to work, our normal busy routines take over, and we get caught up in the horrors of life. But do not leave yours sex life slide. When we do, it can make us feel moody, tired, and less likely to want to make an effort in the bedroom, so that’s a vicious circle. Be open and honest with each other, but try to do it sex a priority and you will both feel closer to it.
Be emotionally honest
Even the most confident and outgoing people sometimes avoid explaining how they feel to a loved one. It is important to communicate, so if you are in doubt about your relationship or feel neglected or jealous, be honest and tell your partner. It’s hard to do, but it gives you the opportunity to work through the negative emotions together and hopefully see it as a January-induced thing, rather than a “It’s all over”. Honesty is crucial.
Adjust your language
If you quarrel, even a small shift in how you communicate can make a big difference. Try saying “I feel …” instead of “You made me feel …” and it will help you both stay focused on solving your problems instead of turning into a blazing row. and a shooting party. Remember to say nice things to each other in everyday life, such as: “I like how I feel when I’m around you” or “I feel at home with you”. It will reinforce positive emotions.
Focus on yourself
By trying to be the best version of yourself for yourself, you also help your relationship. This could involve spending time with friends away from your partner, starting physical activity again, or laying out a plan to get healthier after all the Christmas pampering. If you return to a positive routine, it will strengthen the respect you have for each other and reflect positively on your relationship.
Surprise each other
One way to bring the fire back to any relationship is to reintroduce the element of surprise. Take an expected gift home, take turns planning a date night, do something the other person does not know about – even if it’s just making an unexpected cup of tea. The element of mystery forms a quiet spark in a relationship and you can flirt around the thought of what might happen next, which is always nice.
Book a vacation
With the first week of January out of the way, book something to look forward to together. Taking a mini-collapse at the end of the month is a good idea. It’s exciting and within reach, unlike a summer vacation that may seem too far away right now. Book a ski holiday, go for a walk in the Lake District or go to one romantic trip to a European city. The most important thing is that you have something fun to look forward to and that you are away together.
Get the flirt back
Small things can make all the difference and often cost nothing. Eye contact, for example, is massively underestimated. It can help you get closer to your partner and build intimacy really quickly and powerfully. Add plenty of handheld, cuddling and physical contact from day to day. By touching in a non-sexual way, it will revive an emotional bond that you share.
Finally, remember that this time goes by …
The days are getting longer, spring is on its way, so stick in there.